How can we have free will if we plan our lives before we’re born?

25 Dec

Recently, at my invitation some of you posted questions about pre-birth planning on my Facebook page. (Unfortunately, I can’t add more friends there, but if you’d like to connect with me on Facebook, please Like the Your Soul’s Plan page by clicking here). One of the many good questions was, “How can we have free will if we plan our lives before we’re born?” I address this question in detail on pages 50-52 of my new book Your Soul’s Gift, but it’s such a fundamental and important question that I’d like to offer a condensed version of those pages here.

Let’s say hypothetically that there’s a soul – I’ll call him George – who has had several lives in which he made certain plans before coming into body, but who then deferred to the wishes of others once he incarnated. In other words, George let other people tell him how to live in those lifetimes. In his life reviews, George sees that he has this tendency, and he decides to carry it energetically back into body for the purpose of healing it.

Let’s also say that there’s a soul – I’ll call her Sally – who has had several lives in which she told others how to live and what to do. In her life reviews, Sally sees that she has this tendency, and she decides to carry it energetically back into body for the purpose of healing it.

Once George and Sally set their individual, pre-birth intentions, they might very well then create a pre-birth plan to marry, say at the age of 30. Though they know the marriage is likely to be turbulent, George sees it as a magnificent opportunity to learn to stand up for himself, and Sally views it as a wonderful chance to learn to respect the wishes of others.

Now, let’s say that when George is incarnate and 25-years-old, he gets a job with an employer who runs roughshod over him. Let’s say, too, that George marshals his internal resources and makes a stand. He tells his employer, “Stop! You may not treat me this way. If you want me to continue working here, you must treat me with respect and kindness.” By taking such a stand, George has done what he hoped to do: he has learned to stand up for himself. Further, by being true to himself in this way, George has increased his vibration (frequency).

If George continues to stand up for himself in appropriate ways- that is, if he maintains his heightened vibration – then by virtue of the Law of Attraction either he and Sally will never meet, or if they do meet, there will not be enough of an attraction for them to marry. Here, George has used his free will to learn the planned lesson, which in turn obviated the need for the planned challenge (the marriage). In this way, free will and pre-birth planning mesh in an elegant, intricate tapestry.

At what of Sally? She will magnetize to herself other opportunities to learn the lesson of respecting others – opportunities that would have been planned as contingencies by her soul before she was born.

17 Responses to “How can we have free will if we plan our lives before we’re born?”

  1. Kathy February 13, 2013 at 9:17 pm #

    Your Souls Gift was one of the most soul learning books I’ve ever read. I go back to it often when I have a question about why things happen to me or someone else. I love the way it was written and the knowledge you give to us. I can’t wait to read your next book.

  2. Terri May 6, 2013 at 1:23 pm #

    Please tell me about my animals!!!! I grieve so hard over them! One I lost so terribly that I have grieved daily for over 3 years now! I feel like I lost a child. At least tell me where I can find information about this. And what possible purpose can an animal have to be born here to be tortured and neglected??? Do they pre-birth plan this and if they do why???? Why choose a horrific life of torture for these sweet kind souls??? These questions are ruining my life. I can’t stop crying and I am helpless to prevent it from happening. Thank-you P.S. Your Souls Plan was one of the best books I have ever read.

  3. Julie Baxter May 17, 2013 at 10:36 am #

    Terry, I would dearly like the answers to those questions too. I feel exactly as you do.

  4. Skip August 2, 2013 at 1:20 am #

    Hi Terry & Julie!~

    It’s a big and important question. Rob has not weighed in yet, and it has been a while, hopefully he won’t mind someone else trying to offer a little help in the meantime.

    All through out the literature, it is said that animals survive death just as humans do! How they survive it depends on how evolved they were in the first place! Some animals have little sense of self , apparently while others, and most humans’ pets fall into this category, develop a real sense of self, and continue on as discrete beings. Often they stay right there with their human friends … just like humans sometimes they don’t even realize they died and wonder why no one pays attention! It is very common, by the way, for people that go out of body to see the ‘astral’ form of their sleeping pets ! I have also seen several references in the literature of near death experiences and post death experiences that included in the after death re-union with loving relatives and friends that pets are there too 🙂 . So better write into your will to pack lots of treats in your coffin!~

    When we go to incarnate as humans, we understand that the physical environment here is fearsome and harsh at times, or can be, and it takes a lot of courage to do this.. humans do indeed suffer immensely at times. It is the same for animals. But suffering can actually be a huge catalyst in learning how to think!

    That notwithstanding, what you can do in your own life is, first of all, cultivate your own sense of ‘loving-kindness’ and put it into action: Volunteer at the local animal shelter … they can always use help… walking/training dogs, or just spending time with cats …each little bit that you do helps a whole lot! Animals are pretty telepathic too … so just sending them that loving “Ooo it’s so good to be friends!” type energy can help them immensely! For some of them just knowing that there is ONE human or other being that will be kind to them makes all the difference!

    Another thing you can do is to study what makes a proper diet and then stop eating meat. (The meat industry is beyond atrocious!)

    But do understand, animals survive death, and they are healed of their traumas, just as humans (which, really are just animals too, after all, just with some special skills) do.

  5. Lilian Castro September 13, 2013 at 5:05 pm #

    Bueno….. a mi me preocupa el tema de los animales, hay tantos dejados , abandonados….como es? ellos tienen alma individual o colectiva?, donde van? los veremos otra vez el dia que regresemos a nuestros HOGAR ? ellos no entienden ? en fin quien me puede ayudar con ésto? Gracias, soy Lilian

  6. Lee October 10, 2013 at 10:15 pm #

    Hi there Robert
    I have read your books and believe them to be correct, I have a question though.

    About 2 years ago I was helping my daughter with her new-born son. During this time she was treating me very badly (as she had been doing on and off since she was a teenager.). At the time when I was helping her with her son, it coincided with my early convalescing from a NDS following a massive heart attack.
    One of the things that followed this heart attack was that several changes happened within my soul, I became more accepting of those who were different to me, though I had already been quite non-judgemental, I became more so.
    One other change though was that I no longer accept being treated badly. I told my daughter that I wanted to continue to help her but that I could no longer accept her treating me badly. I’m happy that I stood up for myself but the result of this is that now she and I are estranged which causes me huge pain and the pain of not being in my grandson’s life as well is excruciating. I’m finding all of this very difficult to accept as being “a lesson I must learn”. I’d really value your thoughts on this. Thanks. Lee 🙂

    • yoursoulsplan October 11, 2013 at 5:33 pm #

      Dear Lee,

      A common life lesson for people is to learn to speak your truth courageously but with love and kindness. If that is what you have done, your soul is grateful to you, even
      if the results are difficult to bear at the level of the personality. But, please know that no true healing can come from allowing yourself to be mistreated. Estrangement from loved
      ones can be very painful, but it is sometimes necessary, and it can serve as the soil in which healing eventually (even if after much time passes) can blossom.

      • Lee October 11, 2013 at 8:48 pm #

        Thanks Rob
        That’s kind of my feelings also but the “much time passing” part is not so good because 1) my grandson is growing, changing, living without a loving grandma and 2) because of the heart damage (the physical heart) I may not have time to wait. Mind you, it would seem that I’m more likely to die of a broken heart than a failed heart.
        Love and Light

  7. dola October 20, 2013 at 3:14 pm #

    Dear Lee,
    I so much comfortly agree to your reason stated here.I can imagine how much in pain you would be.As robert said,one of the common life lesson is to speak up courageously for oneself but with love and kindness,but if the results are not good then what is the lesson learnt?Even i have this dilemma deep rooted in my heart and i happened to see your comment Lee.I also aware of karmic implications didnt stand up where i had to thinking that it will affect my family peace,but when i stood up and spoke for myself when i was treated badly,my family broke.I spoke keeping love in my heart but ,indeed never knew this would affect my whole life.

    I am still wondering should i had done that …Id yes then why my marriage broke, and if no then would i had learnt a lesson.Its so disturbing that i just dont know what to do.I am married in a family where even if i had to speak up for myself for being treated badly,the people around would pounce on me and make my life more hell and that is what exactly had happened.So did i courageously learnt a lesson or not?Really a messed up life.

    • yoursoulsplan October 21, 2013 at 2:11 pm #

      Dear Dola,

      I understand and empathize with what you’ve said. But no true healing can occur, either within or without, if one does not follow the path of expressing one’s truth courageously but with lovingkindness. Were you to allow others to treat you badly, you would see in your life review that you had done so, and you would likely plan another life in which others would treat you badly so that you could learn the lesson of speaking your truth. You might even continue to work on that lesson over many lifetimes – a very arduous path indeed.

      When you speak your truth courageously but with lovingkindness, some relationships may end, but you raise your vibration dramatically. Over time, this will magnetize to you people who will treat you with respect, kindness, and non-judgment.

      With love,

      • Michael February 22, 2014 at 3:42 am #

        If George don’t meet Sally, how he will attract another girl, which is not from his timeline? I mean all souls are already taken, before they were born, wright? To find another, also the another pre-birrth plan should be broken, then there mait meet some available girl-soul. Please Rob give us details about those plan B situations. I have a personal experience with that particular situation and need to know more. Thank you. (sorry for my english, this is not my first language)

      • yoursoulsplan February 26, 2014 at 4:47 pm #

        Dear Michael,

        Thank you for your very good question.

        “Plan B” experiences are drawn to us in the same way as “Plan A” experiences, which is to say vibrationally, through the Law of Attraction. You will energetically magnetize to you
        the people, experiences, and circumstances that best serve your evolution. And of course your guides and angels help to arrange these experiences as well. Please see the introductory portion of Your Soul’s Gift for more details about this.

        With love,

  8. Asher Touriel January 6, 2015 at 11:04 pm #

    Wow….what can we learn?
    That raising one’s vibration is so strong, so powerful that it make that one to learn his lesson without the need of that “negative” pre birth plan lesson.

  9. Rach January 25, 2017 at 8:02 pm #

    Dear Robert,

    If I get a reading and say, I am being told that my relationship would not work. Can I still have free will to make it work, still. Despite the premonition?


    • yoursoulsplan January 25, 2017 at 10:32 pm #

      Yes, you still have free will to make it work. When you get a reading, the medium is sensing the most likely timeline given the energy at that moment. If, after the session, you set a strong intention to make the relationship work, you shift the energy, and the most probably outcome is then different than it was at the time of the reading.

  10. Nicole February 7, 2017 at 7:38 pm #

    I have a question, although it’s been somewhat answered in prior posts. Before that, thank you! This is the first thing I’ve read that has given me a little hope.

    Last night I had a reading with a very good medium. I’m currently 2 weeks out from a breakup with my boyfriend whom I’d like very much to be together with again and have a future. She told me he and I were meant to meet when we did, but that no matter what happened between us, he was going to break up with me anyway because we were only meant to be a transition relationship for each other.

    She further went on to tell me that she only sees one ring, or marriage, for me, and that it’s with a man who has a child with another woman. There aren’t a lot of “rules” that I have when it comes to dating, but men with children are a big no-no for me. I know how I am as a person, and I know I could not handle that type of relationship with someone else’s child or another woman in the picture. It may sound cruel, but it’s how I feel. I was very heart broken when she told me that this man is perfect for me, a better fit than my current love interest, and I can either choose to marry him or not. She didn’t tell me what the alternative is if I don’t… but basically I’m left with the idea that it’s him or be alone for the next 60 years.

    Back to my current ex – I told her I wished to send him a letter in an attempt to open communication between us to try to work things out. Prior to this she told me he’s never coming back. As we talked more about the letter, she said to send it, see if it works. He takes a lot of time to process things, so she doesn’t see him getting in contact with me until June or July. Now I’m more confused.

    Further, our purpose for each other was to transition, and we both have a number of lessons to learn before we meet the people we’re really supposed to be with. I asked why isn’t it possible for us to learn these lessons together, after this extended time apart? If we have free will, why is it impossible for us to choose to marry each other just because she isn’t seeing it?

    So I guess my question is, if our partners are pre-determined, but we have free will in this life, then is it true that my only options for long-term love are to choose this guy that I haven’t yet met and marry him despite not being okay with the child situation, OR spend the rest of my life alone? Is it possible that I could choose to marry a different person, ie my current ex, and the medium was unable to see it due to what my current situation is in being separated from him? I understand it can be difficult to make an accurate prediction about two people when both have free will, and that the current state of affairs can impact the probable course in a reading, but she made it sound like I only have one marriage option. I’m very confused, and feel like I’m left only with two poor options (in my opinion) when it comes to love.

    • yoursoulsplan February 8, 2017 at 4:19 pm #

      Dear Nicole,

      While these may be the two most probable timelines (if the medium is correct), they are most probably only at the time of the reading. As soon as your energy/intention change, the probabilities change. Regardless, they are not your only possibilities. That idea is one of limitation. You are Divinity Incarnate, an aspect of God in a physical body. God is unlimited; therefore, you are, too.

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