Suicide and Pre-birth Planning

In the Suicide chapter in my second book Your Soul’s Gift, I share the story of Carolyn, whose only child Cameron suicided shortly after he graduated from high school. Carolyn and I had a channeling session in which we spoke with Jeshua (Jesus). Jeshua began by telling us that suicide is never planned prior to birth as a certainty, but it is planned as a possibility or sometimes as a high probability, as was the case with Cameron. In other words, Cameron knew that he was taking on so much in this lifetime that a suicide was likely. He was willing to take that risk, and his loved ones agreed before birth to accept that risk as well.

One of the difficulties Cameron had while he in body was that chronic depression blocked his capacity to feel his love for his family. Jeshua tells us:

“While physically alive he could not feel his love for them anymore. When dead he realized the full extent of his love, and from the soul’s perspective this was a great breakthrough. The suicide forced change upon Cameron, and in his case it worked out well. It was a turning point for his soul.”

This is a radical yet powerfully healing perspective. Our society views suicide as perhaps the ultimate failure, and yet Jeshua tells us that from the soul’s perspective it can be a blessing. As souls our highest intention is to give and receive love. While in body Cameron was unable to feel, and therefore unable to express, the great love he held in his heart for his family. Now, in the nonphysical realm, he feels that love intensely, and for his soul that feeling is a triumph.

In addition to viewing suicide as a failure, we also tend to see it as a sin. Yet in the conversation with Carolyn, Jeshua tells us:

“From a spiritual perspective, there are no acts that are absolutely wrong or sinful. The deepest act of self-betrayal can lead someone into a state of inner clarity that may help forever. The darkest point may become the starting point for a new direction toward light. You see, spiritual evolution does not proceed in a linear fashion. It uses the polarities of light and dark to create dynamics and change.

In saying this I wish to take away the traditional judgment about suicide, that it is the gravest sin. God or Spirit does not feel that way. God has the greatest compassion for people who take their lives in despair. There is always help available for them on the other side. They are never abandoned.”

In the channeling session, we also spoke directly with Cameron, who confirmed that indeed he was not abandoned. Upon returning to spirit, he was greeted by loving guides, who nurtured and supported him through a process of emotional healing and through some very difficult conversations with Carolyn which occurred in her sleep state. Importantly, and contrary to what some religions teach, Cameron told us that he was never punished in any way for having taken his life. He did not go to some sort of “Hell,” nor did he wander endlessly in a limbo state. Instead, he briefly experienced some confusion and disorientation when he first crossed over (as he had been confused and disoriented when he suicided), but he quickly saw his guides, who escorted him “Home.”

And what of Carolyn’s healing? Since Carolyn has no memory of her pre-birth plan – just as most of us don’t – she quite naturally felt that she had failed Cameron. She was filled with guilt and self-blame, wondering what she could have done to prevent her son’s suicide. In response to those feelings, Jeshua shares with us one of the most important, startling, and powerful pieces of information I’ve come across in my research. He tells us, “Every suicide preventable by outside forces was indeed prevented.” What he means is that if the suicidal person has the slightest openness to changing their mind, the Universe knows, and the Universe stages an intervention. It could be something as simple as a bird flying by and distracting the person, or something as dramatic as an angel assuming human form and physically interceding. If you have lost a loved one to suicide, know this: There was literally nothing you could have done to save them.

You are not to blame.

You are not at fault.

You did not fail them.

Therein rests your healing. Therein lies your peace.